


Handle With Care

by loochskywalker



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Implied mental illness, It's mostly happy i promise, M/M, but not the religious kind, unstable home life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loochskywalker/pseuds/loochskywalker
Summary: Mitch has always been the upbeat child-like one of his friend group but Brandon gives him a run for his money and Mitch...loves it. Loves him, a year later, Mitch loves him. He’s told Brandon that, and Brandon has said it back and they’re happy and Mitch just wants to keep being happy, but he’s almost like 80...95% sure that Brandon isn’t human.





	Handle With Care

**Author's Note:**

> This was harder than I expected to finish and I had no intention of this being over 10k or anywhere near as angsty as it ended up being but there's a happy ending I promise. Obviously this is fiction and intended only to be read as fiction. 
> 
> The implied mental illness is focused on Mitch's mom but could also be read as Mitch as well. This is like, me projecting my own issues with my parents into this and I don't know much about Mitch's parents but I'm pretty sure they're nothing like this. 
> 
> So yes this took forever but here you go.

Mitch knows he sounds stupid okay, he does he’s not live in some weird fantasy world where thinking your boyfriend is non-human is normal. But the more important part of this whole thing is that Mitch is pretty sure his boyfriend isn’t human. Like yeah Brandon  _ looks _ human and he acts human (like the time they got milkshakes at some 50’s diner in nowhere Maine and Brandon laughed so hard it came out of his nose) but...Mitch is pretty sure he’s just not. 

He met Brandon his freshmen year on the quad, and he was weird as hell then too. Standing in the center of the green just smiling at everything, watching a few frat boys play with a frisbee and laughing excitedly when a golden retriever comes up to smell his sneakers. 

MItch had been watching him the whole time, enjoying the sun before the semester started. Brownie had his shirt off and was lying on a towel to the side of him, but he had an arm thrown over his eyes and his headphones on, so Mitch was basically a lone and had nothing better to do than to gawk this tall, lanky, and absolutely  _ beautiful _ guy just standing around looking at the world like it was the best thing he’d ever experienced. 

At first, Mitch was just charmed by that.

Brandon thought  _ everything _ was cool. The movie theater down the street with reclining chairs blew his mind and he laughed happily as he had played with the buttons, or there was the time he stopped to look through all the cat calendars at a kiosk in the mall.

“Where are you from again?” Mitch asked on their first date as Brandon studied the wall of Starbucks cups.

“Oh, Denver” Brandon said as he picked up a clear one and peered through it.

“They don’t have starbucks in Denver?” he asked again, before using his tongue to guide his straw into his mouth and taking a sip.

“They do” Brandon said offhanded, putting the cup back, “Just cool.”

“Cool.” Mitch repeated.

Mitch wasn't going to fight it that hard though, because Brandon was  _ fun _ . At the end of their freshmen year Brownie, Auston, Mitch and Brandon all get in the car and drive the four hours down to Canobie Lake Park and it was the best time Mitch has ever had at an amusement park. It’s not even a good amusement park, and most of the time Brandon just wants to go on the train that goes around the park anyway, but the way he’s just so excited and pointing things out to Mitch, there just isn’t anything like it.

Mitch has always been the upbeat child-like one of his friend group but Brandon gives him a run for his money and Mitch...loves it. Loves him, a year later, Mitch loves him. He’s told Brandon that, and Brandon has said it back and they’re  _ happy _ and Mitch just wants to keep being happy, but he’s almost like 80...95% sure that Brandon isn’t human.

This isn’t really a problem because Brandon  _ does _ look human and  _ does _ act human and he’s not on some like...weird twilight shit where he needs to watch his strength (he may be huge but superhuman strength he does not have). Mitch feels safe with Brandon, Mitch feels  _ happy _ with Brandon like he just infiltrates every aspect of Mitch’s being and brightens it. There’s nothing like Brandon. 

Brandon isn’t the problem

The problem is that Mitch thinks Brandon is getting ready to go back to where ever he came from and Mitch doesn’t think he gets to go with.

 

******

  
  


“What are you doing this summer?” Mitch asks as he runs his hands through Brandon’s hair. Their back on the quad and Brandon is sitting between Mitch’s legs, resting against his chest with a book on his propped up knees.

“Hmm?” Brandon didn’t hear him,

“What” Mitch pauses to kiss the side of his forehead, “are you doing this summer?”

“Oh” Brandon shrugs, “I have to do this like...family trip thing,” even from behind him Mitch can see the way he scrunches up his face, “But that’s not till August.”

“Where are you going?” 

“Just,” Brandon waves his hand, “Somewhere, Europe…” he pauses again, “Slovakia” he finally answers.

“Slovakia.”

“Yes, Slovakia” Brandon shifts around against Mitch’s chest, “It’s a family thing, I don’t know, Slovakia is supposed to be cool though.”

“If you cared about cool why did you go to school in Maine,” Mitch is pouting but he can’t help it. Why would Brandon be going to Slovakia? And why did it sound like he was guessing?

Brandon’s hand comes down to pat Mitch’s thigh where it’s spread around Brandon’s body, “We’ll have the whole summer to be together, So no worries.”

“No worries,” Mitch repeated. Yeah, right.

 

******

 

See Mitch started to get suspicious when he found out that Brandon wasn’t really from Denver. For one he doesn’t know anything about Denver, didn’t even know how to spell Colorado at first until Mitch pointed it out.

“It’s Colorado with an O not an A, and only one L” 

Brandon laughed and erased the Call-orado to correct it, “Whoops!” he said and tapped his forehead, “it’s still early,”

“Yeah” Mitch agreed because it was early but he’s never forgotten how to spell Colorado and he’s not even American. 

The first sign should have been how new everything was to Brandon but Mitch was just so happy to get a guy like Brandon he just thought it was cute. But he notices it more now. Brandon doesn’t even know what Garlic bread is and he gets upset one night because one of those packets that come in shoes to keep the moisture down says “do not eat” and he wants to know what they taste like (to be fair he’s drunk for this one but not  _ that _ drunk). 

But the Colorado one really starts to freak Mitch out. It would be okay if he thought Brandon was just lying but Brandon doesn’t seem to know about any state more than what you could easily google or what he picks up. He can’t even name the capital of Massachusetts even though the day before when Auston was drilling him about hockey he said his favorite hockey team was the Boston Bruins. He pronounces UCLA phonetically, is confused that the golden gate bridge is red, and argues with Mitch for about 40 minutes over what the capital of California is (it is NOT LA, Brandon). 

Besides just lying Mitch’s other explanation he can come up with is that Brandon is some sort of illegal immigrant or a criminal on the run, but when they take a trip to Mexico for spring break his passport gets checked and is apparently good enough to pass under those light things. Mitch doesn’t really know how the forfeit passport business works but unless Brandon is a full on identity thief Mitch doesn’t think he’s running from anything (this doesn’t stop him from prowling crime websites looking for someone that sounds like Brandon: 6’5, blue eyes, super handsome). Plus Mitch totally goes through Brandon’s stuff one night and finds all the required documents you’d expect someone to carry and based on a google search he did they all look legit.

Even if Brandon was an identity thief, there are just some things people know and Brandon seems to blank on some of the simplest things. 

Mitch doesn’t get it.

But if it was just that, if it was just that Brandon was weird that wouldn’t have been enough even for Mitch. 

The other thing, the thing that really gets to Mitch, is that Brandon talks about his family but Mitch is pretty sure he doesn’t have one. It’s not just that Brandon gets all weird or doesn’t have pictures of them because Brandon  _ does  _ have pictures of them and Brandon  _ doesn’t _ get all weird about his family. They’re just. Nowhere. The only person Mitch has actually met that Brandon talks about from “Back home” is some even taller guy, Zdeno Chara, who’s like his mentor or something (which is weird in it’s own way). Zdeno is nice and a little weird too but not as weird as Brandon can be. 

Mitch hasn’t even heard Brandon’s families voices. And the pictures are still weird because, Mitch is pretty sure none of Brandon’s family ages even as he does in each picture. It’s not super obvious at first but Mitch kind of thinks Brandon is just photoshopped into an image with the same stock family and then the background is changed. It’s  _ weird _ . 

Everything about Brandon is weird and should totally be off putting but it’s  _ not _ because Brandon is just this big, positive, ball of energy that just makes Mitch feel like everything will be alright no matter what. He’s happy and smiley and just seems to want to make things better. 

Mitch loves him and his weirdness. 

 

******

 

Brandon is also organized as hell. He keeps all of his textbooks lined up by order he has to study them, has a sticky note system for when he studies, and all of his stuff for his classes is colored coded. But the big centerpiece of all of this is a white board hanging from Brandon’s dorm wall. Brandon keeps track of his whole fucking year on this thing, and it doesn’t go by the school year but the actual calendar year, which means he’s exceptionally well prepared. 

Except this year the calendar stops at August.

Each month is scrawled out in his neat handwriting with a list of things and their corresponding date under it. The only think Mitch sees him add is stuff Mitch asks him to do, and he always finds room for Mitch in his schedule. 

But after “Slovakia 8/2” there’s nothing. And last time Mitch checked the year didn’t end at August, but maybe Brandon’s did.

 

*****

 

Brandon made it onto the Hockey team as a walk on in Freshmen year when Auston saw him and commented on his size. “Even if you can’t skate you could take a few people out,” He said as he appraised Brandon’s height, “You should go for it.”

“I can skate!” Brandon had been excited about it.

Mitch is from Toronto and Hockey is supposed to be like, his thing, but it became obvious that it was out of the realm out of possibility when he was 8 and his parents got divorced. There just, was half as much money to go around. It wasn’t that he didn’t fight hard to keep up with Hockey, it was all he really wanted to do as a kid, but when it came time to ask for more hockey equipment his mom gave him a sad look and said “maybe next year.” And maybe next year just kept happening, and so Mitch stopped asking.

When Mitch made it to high school he stopped hanging around his middle school hockey friends. It’s just, apparently if he didn’t have hockey there was nothing for him to talk to his friends about. So Instead Mitch got a tattoo from some random guy in a garage who turned out to be Connor Brown, his now best friend. Brownie has been in approximately 20 metal bands and 3 solo indie acts, has opened for local bands in Toronto and Maine, and has more jacked up tattoos than professional ones. Brownie isn’t the type of person Mitch thought he’d befriend and then skip the border with for University, but he isn’t complaining.

They met Auston at University of Maine, an NHL ranked NCAA prospect who skipped out on the chance to play in Boston and North Dakota and Michigan and Wisconsin and all these other monsters of Hockey schools just to come to Maine. Mitch still doesn’t understand that decision, especially since Auston is from Arizona and probably doesn’t need to go to a school further north than parts of Canada. But Auston says he likes the sports program and the seclusion of it all. Mitch doesn’t get it. 

So Mitch doesn’t play hockey anymore, but Brandon does and watching Brandon play kind of feels like Mitch is playing sometimes. He’s a D-Man, he has a clear six inches on Mitch in height, and he blocks shots like a monster. So he’s nothing like Mitch is as a hockey player, and yet when Mitch watches him and jumps up to bang on the glass when he scores his first NCAA goal, he can feel the adrenaline pumping through him like  _ he’s _ on the ice. Mitch wants to grab him when he’s still in his hockey jersey and pull him down, all flushed and happy, to kiss him. 

He should be jealous, he thinks, Brownie asks him why he isn’t during one home game they both go to and Mitch doesn’t know how to answer it. Before Brandon watching his peers play did sting, and he was jealous. Brownie was his only saving grace, not judging him when Mitch would drag Brownie to hockey games and then talk shit about all the players in the bathroom the next morning at school. He understood it was a way for Mitch to deal with it but that flipped once Brandon started to play.

“ I just…” Mitch had started, “love watching him play, he plays so well.”

“Yeah i mean,” Brownie pauses, “He’s good,” it’s carefully worded and Mitch can hear what he means. Brandon’s not going to win any stanley cups and a lot of his skill comes from how big he is. When Mitch tries to watch objectively he gets why people are more focused on Auston or the other first liners, but...the way Brandon plays just gets to something in Mitch, something that had just been waiting there since Mitch quit. It’s like he’s living through Brandon but in a supportive, good way instead of a creepy detached way like some of his friends dads had been known to do.

 

*******

 

“So what’s the deal with Slovakia” Mitch asks one day from Brandon’s bed.

“The deal?” Brandon asks, looking up. He’s working on a paper at his desk while Mitch is reading a book about volcanoes and greek gods for his english class.

“Yeah, how long are you going to be gone for?” Mitch asks, his pointer finger playing with the corner, “like just, what’s the deal with it.”

“It’s this like, mentorship thing,” Brandon says, “with Z,”

“What is he even mentoring you for.”

Brandon shrugs, “I’ll let you know when I find out,” He grins like it’s a good joke and it kind of is so Mitch grins back. But that wasn’t even the main worry he had about this trip, although an explanation does help.

“But for how long.”

“My parents won’t tell me” Brandon goes back to writing his essay, “It’s one of those ‘as long as it takes’ sort of things I guess. You can’t really put a time limit on mentorship, everyone learns at different paces you know?”

“Okay,” Mitch say slowly, “But you still have school and stuff.”

“Yeah” but that’s all Brandon says. It’s one of his weird things, the way he just chooses to not elaborate sometimes. Mitch almost wants to close his book and throw it across the room towards (but not  _ at _ Brandon) but before he can close it a calm sort of washes over him timed perfectly with Brandon’s humming. 

And  _ oh _ . 

 

*******

 

Brandon’s weirdly chaste, which is just par for the course because everything he fucking does can only be described as weird, but this one is not as weird as the other things. It’s just that, most guys Brandon’s age, a student athlete in university, and as good looking as he is doesn’t usually treat sex as preciously as Brandon does. 

If Mitch is being honest it’s boring as fuck. But it’s also really nice, because it’s still sex and Brandon holds him like he’s the best thing in the world. It’s just, always missionary and the only time it wasn’t under at least a sheet was when they were at a cottage during the summer with no AC and Mitch was all feverish warm. It’s so...thoughtful and Mitch feels like an asshole for complaining about that but his boyfriend is 6 inches taller than him and has about 40 pounds on him, he could use it once and awhile just to mix it up and Mitch would be very happy.

They don’t have sex a lot either, which doesn’t bug Mitch that much really, it’s not like he doesn’t know how to get himself off. And he knows if he asks Brandon he’ll almost always gets what he wants, but it’s not really about that for Mitch. Having sex with Brandon is not great if just Mitch wants it. There are times where Mitch will angle for it because he’s not going to sit around and wait for Brandon to make  _ every _ move, but it’s just he can tell Brandon isn’t the type who gets off three times a day so he doesn’t ask for it that much. 

Since they do it missionary basically 95% of the time (one time Brandon let Mitch ride him which was  _ amazing _ ) it takes Mitch an embarrassing amount of time to notice well... _ them _ . He feels a little bit guilty about it the first time, because it’s months in and Mitch wants to reach out and touch them but doesn’t...obviously.

Brandon had been laying next to Mitch in bed and they were laughing and talking but the conversation had petered off and mitch was getting ready to fall asleep when Brandon sat up, tugging his shirt off over his head and going to lay back down. But before he could Mitch saw them, two wide, sharp lines down Brandon’s back. They’re pearly white in the dark dorm room, the only light the moon. They look painful and irritated and a little chapped. They’re both right on the insides of his shoulder blades and identical.

Under any other circumstance Mitch would ask what they were from except they’re so big, and look so deep, his throat burns and his eyes prick. 

When Brandon lays back down he turns over and curls an arm around Mitch’s waist and kisses his face, says goodnight, It calms Mitch down almost immediately but he can’t help but worry. He doesn’t know how to bring it up to Brandon, how to ask.

Whatever caused those two scars was obviously intentional and deeply traumatic. Mitch didn’t want to bring it up and upset him. 

He’s seen the scars a few times since but he tries not to look, which is a shame because Brandon’s back is really nice and muscled and long. Mitch has even touched the scars a few times, mostly by accident. They don’t feel like much, just a disturbance in Brandon’s skin, but the first time it freaks him out so much he pulls away like his hand was burned. Brandon either hadn’t noticed or was pretending he didn’t. 

 

******

 

So Mitch said Brandon didn’t have superhuman strength, which  _ is _ true, like he’s strong and all but he lifts about as much as Mitch expected him too. So he’s not super strong but he does seem to never get tired. Mitch can’t remember a time where he fell asleep after Brandon, or witnessed Brandon nap at all. He wakes up and Brandon is showering across the hall, he tries to force himself to stay up later but always ends up going to sleep within ten minutes. 

Mitch just assumes he’s like, a more tired person than Brandon, but he started to get more suspicious this summer. It wasn’t just that Brandon went to sleep after Mitch and woke up before him, he just didn’t seem to get tired at all. 

They spent a few weeks in Acadia National Park with a few of their other friends at a cottage they all chipped in for. They hung out and drank beer around a fire pit and went into town to look at the cute shops and eat ice cream but they also all splintered off a little too. Brownie chose to sit in some large senior guys lap and make out with him, Auston and his girlfriend were on an adventure to find the best clam chowder, and Brandon made Mitch hike every single fucking day.

Mitch is in shape, okay? He’s not a wimp, he’s tough and he can go on hikes but Brandon is absolutely  _ ridiculous _ about it. Brandon doesn’t take breaks, doesn’t even seem to be short of breath at all by the time they make it to the top. Cadillac mountain is a favorite of Brandon’s but Mitch all but collapses on the flat rocks at the top. They’re warm on his skin and they may be rocks but they were probably the comfiest things in the world at that moment.

Brandon on the other hand was standing close to the ledge with his hands on his hips staring off at the ocean. He’s been shirtless the whole time and there’s a soft sheen of sweat on his tan skin that is fucking erotic, but Mitch is more pissed that he’s not as dead as Mitch is. On the way up Mitch had to full on grab his arm and pull him to a stop because Mitch needed to sit and drink some water and breathe for two seconds. Brandon seemed confused as first but of course, ended up giving Mitch what he wanted.

But okay it’s not like he always gives Mitch what he wants because they go hiking the next day, and the next and Mitch has to full on throw a temper tantrum complete with tears so that Brandon doesn’t make him go on the fourth day. It’s shitty as hell too because Brandon doesn’t even mope around the cottage about it, just lounges with mitch on the dock.

“If you were just as happy doing this all day why have you been putting me through the ringer?”

Brandon chuckles and reaches between them to grab Mitch’s hand, “I guess not hearing you complain all day has it’s upsides too.”

Mitch scowls at the sky but he can’t even be that mad. His whole body is weak and sore still but the sun is warm and the towel below him is soft and Brandon is holding his hand and he ends up falling asleep out there on the dock (Brandon even wakes him up to reapply sunscreen).

 

******

 

So this is where Mitch stands: Brandon has a weirdly partial knowledge about things everyone should know, absolutely everything is new to Brandon, he doesn’t have a hometown, his family doesn’t exist, he has big identical scars on his back, the only person in his life Mitch has ever met is not related to him, he seemingly never sleeps or gets winded at all, and Mitch is pretty sure Brandon isn’t human. 

 

******

 

Mitch doesn’t tell anyone because as previously stated, he knows how fucking stupid it sounds especially when he doesn’t have anything to counter it with. He can just see Brownie now, giving him a skeptical glance and saying “so then what is he?” and Mitch has no idea. It’s not like he’s an animal or some weird vampire or a hybrid of some sort. Mitch is pretty sure he’s not the last two at least. 

He can’t take it to Auston either because Auston is a lot more pragmatic about shit than Brownie is and he wouldn’t even get to the “so what is he?” question before he decked Mitch and then took him to the medical center on campus to get him checked over for brain trauma. It would be for Mitch’s own good but Mitch knows how big Auston’s arms are and he doesn’t want to feel that power concentrated to his face. 

There’s always Brandon, Mitch could always just fucking talk to Brandon and if someone else came to him asking what they should do in his situation he would tell them just to talk to their significant other. There’s probably some simple explanation but that’s kind of the problem. Brandon is really good at answering questions without answering them and Mitch knows if he lines up all the evidence Brandon will just find a way to shrug it off. But Mitch also doesn’t want to corner Brandon, doesn’t want him to get anxious and feel like he’s unsafe and has to flee. Mitch doesn’t know how stigmatized other...humanoid species are but if Brandon would be put in danger because Mitch knew what he was then maybe Mitch doesn’t want to know.

Mitch doesn’t  _ need _ to know, Mitch just needs to know that he’s coming back for school next year.

 

*****

 

He tells himself not to worry about it for the first few months of school because August is almost a year away and if bringing this up ruins stuff for them Mitch wants to do it around the end anyway. 

But then Halloween is coming up and Mitch is so fucking excited for it. Halloween is by far the best holiday for Mitch, he loves all of it. He makes Brandon go with him to the supermarket and buy candy and halloween cookies. Brandon is, of course, weirdly mesmerized by the orange crepe paper as Mitch is deciding between the cookies shaped like pumpkins and black cats. 

Taking Brandon to the supermarket is always an adventure, there’s just so much going on in them and they’re so big it seems like every time they go Brandon is excited about something else he’s never seen before. It’s gotten to the point where Mitch just doesn’t even act like it’s weird anymore, if Brandon is some extraterrestrial being Mitch isn’t going to bring it up in a semi-crowded Market Basket.

“Brandon, Let’s go,”

Brandon looks up at Mitch and then frowns down at the crepe paper before he pulls away and walks over to Mitch reaching for his hand. He’s like a little kid that way, he likes holding Brandon’s hand but he does it mostly so he can keep Brandon at his side and not spend 2 hours trying to leave the grocery store. 

When they make it to the checkout line though there’s a rack of little things for costumes like devil horns, cat ears, costume glasses, and an angel's halo. Brandon is studying the halo as Mitch pays, running his hand around the golden ring. 

“Brandon” Mitch says after he’s paid, “time to go.”

“Okay” Brandon puts the halo back and goes to follow Mitch, looking behind him one more time.

“You wanna be an angel?” Mitch asked.

“What?” Brandon’s asked, whipping his head back around to stare at Mitch, “What do you mean?” his voice is urgent and loud

Mitch raised his eyebrow, “For halloween? You seem interested in that Halo thing,”

“Oh” Brandon shrugged, “I don’t know it looked kinda dumb.”

“Dumb?” Mitch asked.

“Yeah, like your face,” Brandon pressed a kiss to his forehead as he said it but Mitch made sure to roll his eyes where Brandon could see it. 

That episode doesn't even occur to Mitch as weird until that night when they’re at a party at the house of one of the senior hockey players. Brandon and Mitch are in the corner drinking with Brownie and said Senior, Freddie, all laughing and a little tipsy. It’s nice and Mitch feels warm tucked in Brandon’s UMaine hockey hoodie. 

“I’m just saying, It was fucked up but it was really good, I recommend it. You won’t look at the world the same,” Brownie is talking about some conspiracy theory documentary that he watched at 2 am last night. Mitch has heard the story before and not paying attention even though Brandon listens intently, nodding along seriously (Mitch will probably have to tell him it’s probably not true later but he’ll let Brownie have his fun for now). 

While Brownie’s talking though Mitch looks around the room before his eyes settle on someone. She’s no one Mitch recognizes, she’s pretty and her hair is long and honey colored but Mitch isn’t watching her because of what she looks like, it’s her costume. She has a short white dress, white heels, a fucking halo headband and white wings.

Mitch doesn’t realize he’s dropped his drink until Freddie jumps back a little.

“Oh shit!” Mitch says, he’s not sure if it’s because of the drink or the fact that he’s pretty sure he knows what Brandon is.

 

******

 

So aliens is what Mitch was leaning towards if he’s being honest, humanoid aliens that are trying to learn about the world. It would make sense, it would link everything up. He’s not sure how Brandon got here or anything but he thinks aliens are the most likely.

Or well...until now.

Because those scars in his back, which are thick and deep and fully healed but still look mostly new, would be fully explained by wings. And then there’s the fact that Brandon doesn’t seem super interested in sex, Angels are supposed to be like, about chastity and shit, he’s pretty sure. And Brandon has this positive light he carries with him, always calms Mitch down so easily. He’s still not from here, but, the disgust he had about that halo and the fact that he got so freaked out when Mitch asked if he wanted to be an Angel pulls everything together

His super sweet, super hot boyfriend is an angel, huh, that’s pretty accurate actually. 

But it still doesn’t answer the issue of whether Brandon will be leaving for good in August or not.

 

******

 

When thanksgiving break comes up and everyone is getting ready to go home for the long weekend, that includes Brandon. Mitch is suddenly worried about him because will Brandon have to spend thanksgiving on his own? Will Chara be there? Does he have an angel family he can go home to? But either way he has a ticket to and from Denver (Mitch checked just to make sure Brandon was coming back).

It feels weird, has since halloween because he’s pretty sure he knows now but he isn’t 100% sure. This isn’t the kind of thing you just spring on your significant other, they have been together for a year now but Mitch isn’t sure there’s really ever a good time to tell your significant other you think they’re a real life legitimate angel. Especially since Brandon could still just turn out to be human and Mitch would look like a dick for saying something along the lines of “well you’re kind of stupid so you must not be a person.”

But Mitch is still pretty sure he knows now and he can’t tell Brandon he knows which feels like lying. Part of him thinks that’s bullshit because Brandon has been lying this whole time, but then ANOTHER part is saying that what Brandon is doing is different, he could be keeping the secret because of some serious consequences. Either way, Mitch doesn’t know enough to  _ know _ how to feel. He’s scared but he’s not sure what he should be scared about, he’s worried for Brandon but he doesn’t know what there is to be worried about. Mitch just doesn’t know and because he doesn’t know things have been weird.

If Brandon has realized he doesn’t say anything.

Brandon helps Mitch load Brownie’s car after classes on Friday, there isn’t a lot to load but Brandon likes carrying Mitch’s stuff for him which was embarrassing at first but Brownie doesn’t chirp him about it anymore. Brandon just whistles happily as he puts Mitch’ suitcase in the car and then beams at him, like he’s waiting for Mitch tell him he did a good job.

Mitch reaches over and pulls him in for a hug because Brandon gives the best hugs. He’s big and warm and his shirts are always so soft and when Brandon hugs back Mitch is almost completely surrounded. He rubs the bridge of his nose along Brandon’s collarbone and sighs happily, he just feels so good here.

He feels Brandon place a kiss to his temple and closes his eyes tighter. If Brandon leaves it’s not going to be for another nine or so months, but it’s never too early to start filing away memories for later. He was smart enough to start worrying almost a year in advance, he’s not going to let the time get away from him that fast.

“I love you,” Mitch says, pulling back just enough to touch the tip of his finger to Brandon’s nose lightly, “I love you and I’ll see you Wednesday,”

“Love you too” Brandon says leaning back down to press their foreheads together, “it’s a date,” he’s grinning all goofy but he just looks heartbreakingly beautiful. Mitch wonders if he’ll ever stop feeling like he’s melting when Brandon looks at him like that, it’s overwhelming all the feelings swirling around in him.

It’s all real nice until Mitch gets thumped on the back hard.

“Ow, fuck” Mitch pulled back just enough to turn his head and glare at Brownie who’s grinning, but unlike Brandon’s it’s sharp and mischievous. 

“You ready to go? We’re gonna be back at like midnight by this rate anyway.”

“Yeah,” Mitch sighed, he turned back to Brandon to kiss him once goodbye before stepping away.

“Don’t worry I’ll miss you a bunch, I’ll even tell my other boyfriends.”

Mitch rolled his eyes but smiled as Brandon smiled back.

“See ya, Monte” Brownie said as Mitch walked around to the passenger side of the car to get in.

“Bye, Brownie,”

 

*****

 

Mitch’s mom has met Brandon and she loves him, because of course she does, everyone loves Brandon, Mitch’s dad even. But his mom loves him  _ a lot _ . It’s gotten to the point where Mitch wonders whose side she’d be on if they broke up, how she’d react if Brandon just disappeared. Usually he can tell her anything as they work in the kitchen together quietly, making thanksgiving dinner. It’s not a very big kitchen and the window in the corner is stuck open a little so it’s almost always chilly in there, but it’s fine. Mitch just doesn’t know what to say.

He really is an emotional mess, a storm of anxiety and sadness and primal fear swirling around in his stomach. He’s gotten his heart broken before, had a crush on his manager when he worked at a shoppers who gave Mitch a pat on the back and told him basically, “Sorry i don’t date teenagers,” when Mitch finally worked up the courage to say anything about it. It feels stupid now, that something that easy could have left Mitch feeling so devastate he quit his job and decided to apply to a school out of the country under the pretense of following his best friend Connor Brown. What he feels for Brandon surpasses what he’s ever felt for anyone. He doesn’t know if there’s a country far enough away to run to, to not feel heartbroken anymore. 

Mitch has seen what real heartbreak can do, was only 8 when he watched his mom go through it. He knows now why his parents were divorced and he can’t say he blames either of his parents, doesn’t think people should stay in marriages they aren’t happy in, but he still kind of hates his dad for it. Mitch is an emotional mess because he gets it from his mom, and if his dad can’t put up with her then he doesn’t get to the chance to put up with Mitch.

Growing up he was supposed to see his dad every wednesday and alternating weekends, which was fine, his parents still lived in the same city so he still got to see his friends and everything. But every wednesday and alternating weekends turned into a alternating weekends and whenever Mitch felt like it which turned into whenever Mitch wanted to hide underage drinking from his mother. 

He may have resented his dad but he wasn’t about to not take advantage of his relaxed stance on alcohol use.

So they continue to make thanksgiving dinner in their chilly kitchen, not saying much besides Mitch asking her what he’s supposed to do with what. Since it’s technically american thanksgiving and in the middle of the week she had to take the day off from work and Mitch can see the stress lines in between her eyebrows as she tries not to think about it. 

He doesn’t mean to be a burden on either of his parents.

 

*******

 

He loves his mom more than anyone, even more than Brandon, so leaving her always sucks, but he’s still ready to get out of Toronto as soon as possible. Brownie lives in the southeast section of the city sort of out of the way of everything where Mitch lives closer to downtown but still, out of the way of everything. This means Brownie has to drive for about thirty minutes before he even picks Mitch up at his mom’s house.

“Shit man, I do not miss Toronto traffic,” Brownie says when Mitch slides into the passenger seat of his car.

“One of these days we have to just splurge on plane tickets back home” Mitch says, not that either of them have any money to speak of, “I hate this drive,”

“Same” Brownie said, “Or we could make a trip out of it, stop in Montreal for a few days.”

“We get like five days for thanksgiving break,”

“Christmas break then,”

Mitch shrugged, 

“Brandon could come with, and Freddie…” he paused, “and Auston of course but he probably would die in the canadian tundra if we took him over the border in December.” the ‘auston can’t stand the cold’ jokes are pretty old but they still all make them, even though every time they do and Auston is around he points out that Orono is further north than Toronto.

“Yeah, if Brandon is around by then,” Mitch mutters, his anxieties finally bubbling over. It’s okay they bubble over with Brownie though, Brownie is safe and stable and sturdy in a way that no one else, besides maybe Auston, is. 

Brownie checks his rear view mirror and turns his blinker on as he makes a worried face, “What does that mean?”

“I had to check to make sure he had a return ticket for wednesday” Mitch laughed darkly, “I just feel like he’s going to go back to Denver and I’ll never see him again.”

“Why?” Brownie asks.

_ Because he’s not human and he’s going away in August and I don’t know where he’s going or when he’s supposed to come back and he doesn’t even know plus he may be in a lot of danger just being with me so I don’t know if I should want him to leave or if i should fight to get him to stay. And the worst part is I can’t tell you or him this because you won’t believe me and he may leave faster _ .

“I just have a bad feeling,” Mitch says. 

“Damn, dude” Brownie says, “You need to stop going home, maybe you should think about running away to Denver with Brandon, you get all dark and mopey whenever we come back home.”

“You’re telling me” Mitch says.

 

*******

 

By Wednesday night Mitch’s good mood is back, he’s in Brandon’s bed, in Brandon’s lap with Auston laying on the floor. There’s not a lot of room in Brandon’s dorm but he’s the only one with a single so it’s generally the best place to hang out. Mitch does double up with Brownie but he gets sexiled pretty often. Not that it matters, he wants to be with Brandon anyway.

“I’m not complaining” Auston says, “it’s just cold.”

“Why did you even come to Maine then?” Mitch asked, “Especially northern Maine, even BU and BC are further south.”

“I’m beginning to think you don’t like me,” Auston pouts from the floor, “after everything we’ve been through, Marns.”

“Yeah like the time you cried because they weren’t serving waffles in the dining hall,” 

“I really wanted them!” Auston says, “Now is not the time to taunt me for the fact that I love waffles and get a little emotional about things, i’m already getting emotional over the weather.”

“Aww” Brandon tightens his arms around Mitch’s waist, “you’re very cute, Matts,”

“Thank you, see he gets me,”

“Brandon gets everyone” Mitch says, “I think he’s a little bit in love with everyone too,” 

Brandon kisses the side of his face at that and squeezes him a little again.

“You two are perfect for each other then” Auston says, “You like, fall in love with everyone who is a little bit nice to you.”

“No I don’t,” Mitch scoffs,

“Remember when we went to 7/11 in freshmen year and the girl working the cash register said she liked your shirt and you wouldn’t stop talking about how she was the nicest person you ever met for like 2 days?” Auston smirks at the ceiling, “You fall in love with everyone Marns, but it’s cute. You two are cute.”

“That’s so gay, Auston” Mitch crawls out of Brandon’s lap to throw a pillow at Auston’s head.

Auston laughs as he catches it and winks. 

 

*******

 

Auston is right though, a little bit, Brandon and him are similar and Mitch doesn’t know what to make of that. It doesn’t seem like the normal batch of weirdness he expects from Brandon. They just….they’re similar and not in a bad way, not like Mitch feels like he’s dating himself or anything. Brandon just, everything makes him happy, especially Mitch, and he likes to touch and be around Mitch. It’s never too much either, when one of them needs space they both do, when Mitch texts Brandon he’s staying in his dorm Brandon responds with ‘that’s a good idea.’

They just work, everything about them is so smooth and when winter break starts to approach Brandon starts to slow down with Mitch. They get a lot of time off between semesters and Mitch misses his parents but doesn’t really want to go home. Brandon even grimaces every time someone asks him what he’s doing over break.

By early December Mitch is in full on velcro mode, clinging to Brandon whenever he’s close. They meet up between lectures on wednesdays and just eat together in the dining hall of Mitch’s dorm, not even saying much, just, sitting there. And when Brandon has practice Mitch stares longingly at his phone waiting for the “i’m done,” text. Brandon isn’t much better with the velcro thing though, he watches Mitch read his bio textbook when he should be studying himself.

All these things should be creepy and unhealthy but Mitch can’t find the energy to be mad about it, Brandon doesn’t even seem that annoyed (which is new for Mitch, most people hate him at his clingiest, even people who like him).

It all makes Mitch so much more anxious, if Brandon is acting like this maybe it's not just a month away from each other, maybe it’s worse, maybe it’s longer.

“Brandon” Mitch’s voice sounds weak and quiet to his own ears. Brandon is sitting at his desk again, Mitch on his bed, both of them supposed to be doing school work but neither of them really trying that hard to get anything done.

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Can we talk about something weird?” 

Brandon turns around in his swivel chair with a confused frown on his face, “Sure, Mitchell,”

“It’s like really weird.”

“...Okay”

“LIke so weird I don’t even know how to start this.”

“Are you pregnant?” Brandon deadpans.

Mitch rolls his eyes but relaxes. He sits up on the bed and crosses his legs before he starts speaking again, “No, asshole, It’s about you, like...what you are.”

“I’m pregnant?” 

Mitch throws the pillow at him for that,

Brandon could catch it easily but he lets it hit his face before he smirks at Mitch.

“Ugh, anyway” Mitch looks towards the ceiling, “It’s just, you can tell me anything? I’ve been having a lot of weird thoughts about you recently so i’m not sure there’s anything you could drop on me that’d make me...judge you,” he looks back at Brandon, “I don’t know, like, what’s going on okay? But there have been weird things going on and you’ve been really avoidant about them. And I don’t care  _ what _ you are, I just, want to make sure you’re coming back to school next year.”

Brandon’s face doesn’t do much in response to that, which is scary on it’s own. His mouth is flat, his eyebrows relaxed, nothing moving but the finger tapping his textbook on his desk. 

The seconds tick by and nothing.

“I’m serious” Mitch says, his voice quiet, “I have a pretty good idea but it doesn’t matter. I’m just scared you’re going to disappear on me.”

A minute always feels longer when you’re not doing anything, he can feel every second sneak up his skin, every moment that Brandon is just staring at him not saying anything. He doesn’t know how he fucked up, he tried to be as non-judgemental and as soft as he could be. But what if bringing it up was the wrong thing to do? What if Brandon was going to stay until Mitch found out? What if Brandon is just normal and thinks this is too much? What if Brandon is one foot out the door like his dad is?

Brandon finally gets up then and walks over to Mitch, he can’t help but flinch as Brandon sits next to him on the bed and wraps his arms around mitch’s shoulders, tugging him close to Brandon's’ chest. Mitch is overwhelmed then with the feeling that none of that is true, that Brandon loves him  _ so _ much, it makes Mitch’s chest tight. It’s there, all through him, like he’s fucking drowning. And it all started when Brandon touched him.

“I don’t know,” Brandon says quietly then,

“What?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be back,” He says, “in August that’s when I decide if…” he pauses, “I wasn’t planning on having this conversation with you for a few months.”

“I wasn’t either,”

“I know, I can…” Brandon frowns, “I can’t read your mind per se but I can feel what you feel, and I know how to put the dots together.”

“So, you knew, that I knew?” Mitch says, and then, “Wait do you know what i know?”

Brandon’s trademark smile breaks through a little, “I’m not an angel in the way you think of angels,” he says.

The admission cuts through the room and Mitch feels something akin to adrenaline spike in his system, but he tries to remain as calm as possible, “you’re...what?”

“I’m a guardian angel, I guess is what you’d call it,” he waves his hand around like he’s searching for a word, “It’s just I…I’m your guardian angel, which is the problem.”

“That’s uh...that’s a problem?”

“Yeah,” Brandon says, “it’s not fair.”

“You’re going to need to be a little more clear here, because i’m still not sure any of this is real.”

Brandon’s smile is kind before he says, “Okay yes, sorry, let me take a step back. I’m an angel, a guardian angel, although probably not the kind you’re thinking of. I am  _ yours _ though, I’m your guardian angel and that is a problem because I shouldn’t be dating you or with you at all. My only job is to watch over you and make sure you stay on the path best set out for you, but instead I fell in love with you. It’s not...it’s looked down on because when I take the human form to come down here it’s almost a guarantee you’ll fall in love with me because we...we are made for each other in a weird sense. We’re connected in a way that you could never be connected to another human being. So it’s not fair, because you almost...have to love me. You don’t stand a chance. And we’re supposed to be the responsible ones, not falling in love with and building a human form just to come down here to kiss our assignments.” 

“So,” Mitch says, “it’s unfair to me?”

“Well,” Brandon starts again, “that’s the thing. To come here I had to give up a few things, like my wings, so it’s not like coming down here was the easiest thing to do. However rules work differently for us, there are plenty reasons why an angel would choose to come down here. So I’m allowed to be here with you but after a certain amount of time I have a council meeting, almost like a trial, where I have to decide whether I stay or not, that’s what’s happening in August. And Zdeno has been helping me prepare for it, he’s been on the earth for hundreds of years now helping other people...er...well...angels like me.”

Mitch blinks,

“I’m not lying,”

And the thing is Mitch should think he is, but just, everything about it seems to fit into place. It’s not just that, not just that it lines up everything Mitch has already collected, doesn’t just answer all of his questions, but it’s the fact that he can  _ feel _ it. He is connected to Brandon, he knows that beyond a doubt, and he can feel the fact that Brandon isn’t lying, that he’s laying himself bare here.

“Why would you decide not to stay?” Mitch asks, finally, voice small.

“If I stay here, that means you don’t have a Guardian, you don’t get another.”

“Oh,” Mitch says, “that sounds bad but I don’t know what that means especially when you’re down here.”

“Up there I have better control of everything, I can steer you clear of things, I gave you Brownie,” His smile is a little smug at that, “It’s like a bird's eye view on the situation I can see years down the line and everything that has already happened to you, I get the full picture. When i’m down here though, I only see here and now.”

“You gave me Brownie?”

“You needed each other” Brandon nodded, “Auston too.”

“Auston too?”

“You really think he chose to come to UMaine instead of BU because he liked the seclusion?” Brandon shook his head, “If every decision we had to make, made sense on a human level we wouldn’t be making any of them.”

“So, why did you come here then?” Mitch asks, “Why did you give me...well you?”

Brandon frowns, “It’s not important,”

“Why?”

“It’s just,” There’s a dark feeling creeping up through Mitch, and he’s pretty sure it’s coming from Brandon, “You didn’t...have anyone.”

“What?”

“I was trying to get you on this one path, that would make you happiest, that’s my job and all. But I’m not the only one making decisions here, I’m not the only one with someone to look after. Sometimes other Guardians make decisions I can’t control and then end up hurting you. They’re supposed to be balanced out, but I kept drawing the proverbial short straw, and there was only one good path left open for you.”

“And that was you?” Mitch asks.

“No way, me coming down here was like…the last thing I could think of to do. My hope was that, I could come down here, and mess with things enough that by the time this August came around I could see if there were any new paths for you to take, anything I could do to help you.”

“So you may not come back.”

Brandon squeezed Mitch tighter, “Whatever happens, i’m going to make sure you end up happy.”

 

********

 

It’s a lot to sit with, obviously. 

Mitch doesn’t pull away from Brandon because he’s mad at him, or because he doesn't think he’s telling the truth, it’s just  _ a lot _ . Brownie is simple, and stress free and Mitch can sit with him and just think.

He always sort of knew but really knowing is very different.

Mitch isn’t like avoiding Brandon either, because he doesn’t want to be a dick about this and who knows what time they have left with each other. So Mitch still goes to all of his games, they study together, and they have dinner together (even though Brownie and Auston are there too it still counts). It’s all okay anyway because Brandon doesn’t seem upset about it, he seems to get it, that Mitch isn’t mad at him just a little overwhelmed. 

Who knew having an angel for a boyfriend would be so nice?

 

******

 

Christmas break is fine, there are a few hiccups where Mitch’s mom disappears for a few days at a time and his dad’s only comment is something along the lines of “she’s always been like this.” But it’s not out of the ordinary, Mitch has had to deal with this stuff himself. She’s around for Christmas morning and that’s all that matters.

Most of his time is spent with Brownie in basements and garages of high school friends. Mitch gets another tattoo from some blonde kid in a jean vest, it’s just a shitty butterfly on the side of his forearm. The line work is fucked up, there’s no shading, and it curls in awkward shapes around his arm, but he likes it all the same. None of Mitch’s tattoos are great, the one’s Brownie has given him are haphazardly placed along his body, none of the positions make sense, none of the designs make sense, but Mitch loves them. Mitch can tell which one he got when because each one is a little bit better than the next. It’s mostly Brownie’s art, but Mitch feels the addition of each one in his body. They’re like scar tissue that’s built up so the next betrayal doesn’t hurt, and the next winter isn’t as cold. 

He may be small, he may be emotional, he’s a laundry list of weak and trembling things, but as Brownie says, he’s a tough motherfucker.

Before they leave, Brownie has Mitch sit between his legs in his bathroom, sticking a needle in the back of Mitch’s neck for a few hours. He doesn’t tell Mitch what it is until afterwards when he holds up a mirror and Mitch sees the words “handle with care” staring back at him. 

“You know,” Brownie says, “for their sake, not yours.”

Mitch loves it. 

 

*******

 

When they get Back Mitch wraps himself up in Brandon. 

“You know,” Brandon says one night, rudely interrupting a really great make out session, “I don’t hate sex,”

“Okay” Mitch says trying to pull Brandon back down, “Then kiss me asshole.”

Brandon laughs lightly as Mitch kisses him, “No I just…” another kiss, “mean that, we can do it more…” another, “if you want.”

“It’s fine” Mitch says, “honest,” 

Brandon curls his arm around Mitch’s head on the pillow below, his fingers brushing through Mitch’s hair as he goes to kiss him again, full and deep. Mitch doesn’t care how far they go just doesn’t want to take his hands off Brandon’s skin, which is great because there is so damn much of it.

“Does it hurt” Mitch blurts out when his fingers pass over the scars on Brandon’s back.

“Hmm?” brandon hums before pulling back, “the scars?” he asks.

“When you lost your wings.”

It’s the first time they’ve talked about the angel thing since Brandon laid it all out for him, but he doesn't think it makes anything tense, he searches for a feeling of awkwardness in himself and in Brandon and can’t find anything. 

“No,” Brandon says, he rolls his shoulders out, “I don’t...really feel pain” he admits almost sheepish. 

“Fuck you,” Mitch is smiling though, “good,” he kisses brandon again, weaving his arms around his neck to pull himself up towards Brandon, “They look painful.”

“Yeah but it’s cool right?” Brandon’s smile goes from sheepish to smug, “Like, scars are awesome.”

“Yeah but there’s a difference between ‘I tripped down the stairs’ scars and ‘I had my wings taken away by the angel jedi council.”

“This isn’t star wars!”

“Well how do I know what’s real or not?” Mitch pauses, “are vampires real?”

Brandon rolls his eyes and shakes his head, “seriously, Mitchell?” 

“Seriously, Brandon” Mitch kisses the side of Brandon’s mouth as he says it, wanting to feel the way the smile curled upwards.

“If they do, their jedi council must be really good at keeping it on the downlow.”

 

*****

 

They don’t get each other christmas presents but a few days into January and Mitch gets him a shirt that says Star Wars on it and he doesn’t really have the money for it but Brandon beams at it and It’s so worth it.

 

*****

 

The rest of the year goes...amazing. There isn’t anything between Mitch and Brandon, they’re open and they can talk about everything now. Now that Brandon isn’t trying to hide that he’s an angel (he doesn’t like that term, he says it oversimplifies the whole thing but…) he doesn’t hold himself back from taking away all of Mitch’s stress when he can. 

He explains the whole emotions thing to Mitch, apparently it’s not just Brandon’s Special Angel Powers but Mitch can do it back to Brandon if he wants too, it just takes practice. Mitch isn’t sure about all of that, so he lets Brandon take the lead there.

But either way, it’s great, it’s nice.

When it starts to get warm again, they’re out in the Quad more often than not and Brownie is teaching Brandon how frisbees work. It’s nice and the air feels clean if not a little bit chilled. By the end of the March, Auston is the only one still wrapped up in a hoodie. 

The UMaine hockey team doesn’t make it far into the playoffs and Auston is offered a contract with the Toronto Maple Leafs almost the day after they’re eliminated. 

“There are only two games left in the season” Auston says, “So it wouldn’t like, be a thing. But it’d be nice to play a few games, here and there before my rookie season but my mom doesn’t want me dropping out in the middle of a year.”

“Wow your life is so difficult” Brownie drawls.

“Shut up, this is serious.”

“I’ll tell you what, as long as you find a room in that nice posh apartment for me after university I’ll be right there with you.” Brownie tosses his arm around Auston’s shoulder, “Deal?”

He puts his fist up between them for Auston to bump.

Auston pauses for a few seconds but he bumps Brownie’s fist, “deal.”

“You think Monte will look to go pro?” Mitch isn’t expecting the question so Auston repeats himself, “is Brandon going to go pro?”

“Oh uh,” Mitch shrugged, “depends what he wants to do.”

“He should want to do this, he could go to the A at least.”

Mitch feels himself pull away after that. Brandon’s in class so he isn’t around to bleed out Mitch’s anxiety. Instead Mitch just sits there, staring at his notebook as Auston and Brownie bicker back and forth, thinking about how he doesn’t even know how long he has with Brandon at all. Brandon probably hasn’t thought about life past university, never thought he’d even be in this situation to begin with.

Time is creeping down and Mitch doesn’t know if even Brandon’s weird emotion trick can stave off this darkness.

 

******

 

“Are you going to stay?” Mitch asks for the millionth time after school ends. He has Brandon’s head in his lap and is running his fingers along his cheekbones.

“I don’t know, it depends what I see when I go back.” Brandon says, he’s staring up at the sky but his expression is blank, like he doesn’t actually see anything.

They’re out on the dock at the cottage of one of the guys on the hockey team, it’s warm and smells like mud. Brandon hasn’t even made him do any crazy hiking challenges in the first few days they’ve been down here, just letting Mitch laze around with him for a bit. He can kind of feel it, Brandon giving Mitch what he wants more and more and Mitch hates it. 

“Whatever you see won’t be as good as this” Mitch says, “I swear, you being here is all…”

“Mitch” Brandon’s hand grabs Mitch’s wrist up by his face, “that’s not how this works.”

“It’s just stupid I have no control here, and it’s my life,”

“I know” Brandon says, “this is why we’re not supposed to do this, and we’re definitely not supposed to tell you guys. It does suck, we try not to interfere with the decisions you guys make, that you’re really certain in but we have to do our job. I would love to be your boyfriend first it’s just…If you knew there was a way to ensure that I would have the happiest life possible but that it meant you needed to go, you’d do it right?”

Mitch frowns, he doesn’t want to admit that Brandon is right.

“Trust me” Brandon pullS Mitch’s wrist to his face to kiss it, “I’m never going to really leave you,”

Mitch leans down, arching his spine uncomfortably just to kiss Brandon on the forehead.

 

******

 

May turns to June turns to July and suddenly August is right there. 

Brandon doesn’t bring it up much and neither does Mitch. Brandon admits he doesn’t actually have family and Denver isn’t really home but he does spend time with Chara over the summer, he says he has to. Chara knows more about this than even Brandon and so he needs his guidance or some shit like that. Mitch resents the idea that Chara can help Brandon decide what path Mitch’s life should go more than Mitch himself can. It’s stupid. But it’s whatever, Brandon doesn’t really give Mitch much of a choice.

But before August, Brandon comes to visit Mitch in Toronto. Neither of them say it, but it’s because they need to see each other one more time before August comes.

Just like before, Mitch’s mom loves having Brandon there, puts him to work in their now too hot Kitchen with Mitch and asks him happily about everything in his life. Mitch stands there and listens to Brandon lie easily to his mom. He understands why Brandon has to, doesn’t think even Mitch’s mom would believe them, but he doesn’t like keeping anything from his mom at all.

They end up back in Brownie’s bathroom with Brandon’s wrist in Brownie’s lap. It’s a different needle, obviously, but Brownie uses it the same way. And Brownie is the greatest, doesn’t even second guess why Brandon would want Mitch’s name tattooed on the inside of his wrist. 

 

*****

 

The night before Brandon leaves, Mitch would like to say they make love all night long and Brandon cradles him in his big arms until the sun comes up and bathes them in golden light. But that’s not what happens at all. 

They’re at Mitch’s dads house and Mitch can’t stop crying as Brandon holds him. It’s not sexy and it’s not romantic, but Brandon doesn’t let him go all night which is all as well because Mitch doesn’t get any sleep. 

In the morning Brandon helps him make breakfast but doesn’t eat any of it, just says “Here, now you won’t go hungry.” It’s said lightly, like maybe if either of them were in the mood it’d be a joke. But they’re not. So Mitch just nods, staring at all the pancakes not sure who else is going to eat them. 

Mitch goes to help Brandon pack what little stuff he brought with him, working silently. He doesn’t know what to say. It could be good bye, but it may not be good bye. He just feels like Brandon’s already gone.

“Hey,” Brandon says when he zips up his suitcase, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Mitch says but he doesn’t look towards Brandon, just traces his fingers along his suitcase, “do you need this?” he asks.

“What?”

“All your stuff?”

“Do you want it.”

Mitch shrugs, “I don’t know, a shirt or something,”

“Okay”

Brandon opens the suitcase back up and pulls out a shirt and a hoodie, “I’ll get you my jersey too” he says,

MItch nods,

“You’ll be back, you can give it to me.”

“Just in case” Brandon says, “Because I won’t be able to tell you I’m not coming back.”

“How about this” Mitch says, “If I get your jersey from anyone but you I know you’re not.”

“Okay, deal” Brandon says.

In Mitch’s driveway Brandon pulls him as close as he can and gives him one of those real hugs, where you can feel every inch of them, where they could support you through anything. Brandon tightens his arms once, twice before pulling back. There’s a few beats of them just staring at each other before Brandon kisses him, not particularly deep but meaningful, like words just aren’t enough. And they aren’t, not for Mitch either.

He feels that sense of Love wash through him again, like there’s nothing else in this world but the fact that Brandon is right there and Brandon loves him. He does his best to send the feeling that he loves Brandon too back, but he isn’t sure how to tell if it works. He just hopes to god that it does.

“I’ll always be here” Brandon says,

 

******

 

On August 26th the day before Mitch is supposed to go back to school, his mom hands him a package. His blood runs cold, he knows what it is before he even opens it. Still, Mitch doesn’t take Brandon’s jersey off for the rest of the day.

 

*****

 

Mitch can’t help the tears, he’s always been an emotional wreck and this may be the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. But it’s okay. It’s still okay, because Brownie pulls over a few hours outside of Montreal just so he can lean over the console and hug Mitch close. 

The story that Brownie knows is that Brandon died in a car crash. That’s the story that’s been run in newspapers near Orono, that’s the story the UMaine hockey coach told the whole team, it’s the story you get when you google Brandon Carlo. It should make Mitch feel better to know it’s not true but it doesn’t, it doesn’t feel better at all. He knows what it means, that Mitch is going to end up happy. He just can’t see how. 

And then Brownie gets out of the car and Mitch watches him as he walks around to open the passenger door. He helps Mitch out with a hand and hugs Mitch as sturdy as he can, there on the side of the highway. 

It’s sunny and warm and the trees are candy green. 

The words  _ I gave you Brownie  _ ring in Mitch’s head.

The earthquake beneath his feet settles as he breathes into Brownie’s shoulder.

Mitch pulls away to place his hands gently on either side of Brownie’s face, looking into his foggy green eyes.

“Hey,” he says,

“Mitch…”

But Mitch doesn’t let him talk, just kisses him like he was always supposed to.

  
  



End file.
